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Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
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Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in Choke On It's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
6:08 pm
Video of me cumming, select FREE for your download (in bottom of page) and wait 30 seconds for the download ticket to be ready :


also PHOTOS of me :

my yahoo group :
Saturday, March 19th, 2005
12:56 pm
Thursday, September 30th, 2004
12:21 pm
The Pope's Penis
It hangs deep in his robes, a delicate
clapper at the center of a bell.
It moves when he moves, a ghostly fish in a
halo of silver sweaweed, the hair
swaying in the dark and the heat -- and at night
while his eyes sleep, it stands up
in praise of God.
Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
6:37 pm
<3333333 CROY
confusetheswede: the combination of the words velvetdebris and penis debris makes me think of horrible jizzstains on velvet that will never come off

Current Mood: Monica Lewinsky
Sunday, September 19th, 2004
2:10 pm
I flick my cock at you.

Current Mood: aggravated
12:22 am
"The Penis Song" by Momus
Buckminster Fuller, inventor of the geodesic dome
Once gave a lecture he entitled 'Everything I know'
Taking the title literally, he spoke four years or so
And I intend to do the same, so make yourself at home
(Pull up a chair, smoke a cigar or something)
Cynthia Plaster Caster once took my cast and showed me
In a penis exhibition in a gallery on Broadway
So many people saw my penis in its glass case
They recognise my penis now before my face

Subject for today: does knowledge elevate or demean us?
Everything you didn't want to know about my penis

A baker has a penis thing for flattening the dough
But stick it in the oven and it rises up, like so
The man who chops the melons up with a long and pointed knife
Has a penis with a mottled skin, I know, I asked his wife
(Very curious)
A priest beneath his cassock has a penis just the same
Some call the hypothalamus the penis of the brain
One man's sport is fly fishing, the other's pocket billiards
Congratulations, Watson, on your almost-Freudian brilliance

The comedian from hell always thinks he can entertain us
With everything we didn't want to know about his penis

Like the heather of the Highlands, mine is tipped with flecks of purple
With a head as wise as Solomon, although shaped like a turtle
It wears a flesh-tone roll-neck and the neck goes up and down
It comes out in the evenings and on Friday paints the town
Obsessively, compulsively, it only wants one thing
To fill your chosen orifice with ropes of pearly string
Delivering its message to your womb or to your tongue
And then going slack and flaccid when its pressing work is done

In witty conversation, by drip or intravenus
I drop everything you didn't want to know about my penis
(Some sort of Tourette Syndrome)

It's a very fine philosopher, debating right and wrong
Shows promise as a songwriter, it writes most of my songs
Don't bury it in boxer shorts but wear it like a tie
Or avant garde jewellery hanging from your fly
(Very chic!)
Jean Luc Godard once declared, to gales of mystified laughter
That some men wash their hands before they touch it, others after
And if you slot it carefully where the sun will never shine
You'll feel what's mine becoming yours, what's yours becoming mine

Ladies and hermaphrodites, my tender-hearted readers
Everything you didn't want to know about my penis

There was a bohemian monk
Who went to bed in a bunk
He dreamt that Venus
Was stroking his penis
And woke up all covered in spunk

Thought for the day: does abstinence dirty us or clean us?
Everything you didn't want to know about my penis

It's a tribute to the power of something otherwise mundane
That waving it under a stranger's nose is said to scar his brain
I'm doing my bit to see the power of taboo remains intact:
I keep a penis on my head but never lift my hat
(I keep a penis on my head but never lift my hat)

And if I've bored you stiff with this riff about my penis
I wouldn't let a little thing like that come between us

And if you can think of another song even more atrocious
Well supercalifragilisiticexpifuckingdocious

Current Mood: cold
Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
12:31 pm
Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
9:07 pm
And I think to myself/What a wonderful world
Number of Google hits for Mutant Penis: 72,200
Number of Google hits for Giant Mutant Penis: 29,500
Number of Google hits for Giant Mutant Penis from Outer Space: 2,760

Just thought you should know.

Current Mood: touched
Friday, August 13th, 2004
5:04 pm
no I'm not creative enough to think of such things on my own...so bite me
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all hte time; it's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time; I can leave it home when I thnk it's gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning, I can't, for the life of me, remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it, so I called up the place hwere the party was, they hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet , 'ccause for some reason, I leave it there sometimes, but no this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.

After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then as I walked down Second Avenue, toward St Mark's Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven - some guy was selling it! I had to but it off him. He wanted 22 bucks, but I talked him down to 17. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again: complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.
Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
1:40 am
an original song by stevie jarvis.
"scrotum, it is a sack of skin!
scrotum, it holds your testes in!
don't overload 'em,
or you'll explode 'em,
hey HEY!"

(I wish I could somehow type out the tune.)
1:48 am
Sunday, August 8th, 2004
1:19 pm
Asta Brenna: I can see your penis.
SmarterChild: You can see my penis, I can see my penis, we all can see my penis.
Saturday, August 7th, 2004
1:13 pm
First post AW YEAH
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy,
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger,
To the world's biggest prick.

So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas,
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork,
Your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

I like the part about the sock.
I would do that, except I don't know where I would find a giant tube sock.
Oh woe is me.
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